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Post by Jessica on May 7, 2007 15:57:00 GMT -5
It makes me sick to be in the situation I am in. I have no idea who these people who are using me are. The only thing I know is that they have my son, and if I want to see him again, I will have to do as they say. Even if it means betraying all of the wonderful people I have met.
So far the only info I have received from them is to work with Tenchi to slowly pick people out of the group one by one until we are the only ones left. I'm guessing we will be receiving some sort of back-up as I doubt they would leave it up to just two people.
How am I supposed to work towards becoming a better me when I am forced back into the life of hiding behind the mask of the person I used to be. I fear that my old habits will return to me. I have already started lying and thinking of ways to use the others. That's really something a woman of honor would do....
I wonder how they are forcing to make tenchi do this. He doesn't really seem like the type to be doing this by his own free will, but maybe he is putting on a mask just as I am.
Not that anything else matters to me. I need to save my son. Even if it means slipping into old habits, I would do anything for my son. I just hope I can live with myself after doing these despicable acts I am about to commit. More importantly, I hope my son can forgive me.
-Jessica ~~
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Post by Jessica on May 8, 2007 10:40:58 GMT -5
I feel like I am slipping into my old habits. Already I am starting to use my body to get what I want. I have already planned to use Miles by faking a relationship with him. Even worse, my plan involves me tossing him out to be imprisoned.
I also plan on throwing suspicion onto my own best friend Jenn as well as framing a frail old woman. Whatever its takes, I must save my son though.
Tenchi helped me fine-tune my plans with Judith and Miles. He seems to be very cold and calculated just like me. It must have been our childhood traumas that made us able to put on such a mask of heartlessness and act so cruelly without remorse.
I am finding it more and more likely that he too is being held here against his will and someone or something he loves has been taken hostage. I wouldn't dare ask though. If he is not he may go to the people that have my son, and I wouldn't do anything to risk his life. I guess it would be safer not to know.
Stay safe Dustin, stay safe.....
-Jessica ~~
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Post by Jessica on May 10, 2007 10:35:48 GMT -5
After seeing my position from the first exile, I am feeling more at ease that I will be around to see Dustin when this whole thing is done. Of course I still have to stay on my toes, everything could change at any time.
I am starting to feel closer to Tenchi. He may be cold and calculated, but he seems very supportive of me. He is always there to compliment me when I move our cause forward. I am starting to believe that he too is a good person just being forced to perform these awful deeds. But this could also be a ploy to keep me strong to the cause.
All of the friends I have made seem so great. Rei, Judy, Miles, Jenn..... It pains me to think that I will have to sell them out down the road. If only there was a way that I could escape this ordeal and be back home with my son.....
-Jessica ~~
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Post by Jessica on May 18, 2007 6:33:52 GMT -5
With all the confusion of meeting people, I haven't had much time to write my thoughts down.
I almost broke down crying when the new people arrived. Now I have 11 more people standing between me and my son. Its just that much more work before I can see him.
I have already forgotten how long it has been since I last saw him. I regret bringing him here with me. Even if I had a high paying client, I never should have brought my son along.
Then when the terrorists' attacked, I got separated from him in the confusion. I tried desperately to look for him, but the police forced me to evacuate. I was so worried about him the whole time we had to wait before returning. When we where allowed to return, I dont think I will ever forget how fast I ran to the last place I saw him. But dont think I will ever be able to deal with what I saw next.
The man dressed in black, holding my son as he struggled to escape. I was about to charge him until he pointed a gun at dustin's head, then I collapsed to my knees, crying.
He then told me that the only way I could see my son again is if I agreed to work as an undercover agent for them. All I was told to do was to help Tenchi. I don't even know what their intentions are. Whether they are terrorists or government spies. Either way, I have no choice but to work with them as long as they have my son.
I am having trouble holding back my tears as I write this.... I must think of my progress, and not such sad things. As long as I can stay strong and keep up the good work I have done, I should be back with my son soon enough.
-Jessica ~~
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Post by Tenchi on Jun 21, 2007 0:54:54 GMT -5
OMG Its more roleplaying!
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Post by Jessica on Jun 21, 2007 7:19:19 GMT -5
Don't worry, I stopped after that point.
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Post by Reicheru on Jun 21, 2007 13:25:50 GMT -5
Yeah, you always eventually get to that point where it's less "How do I keep in character?" and more "OMG! All the citizens are after me! The spies are after me! I'M GOING TO FREAKING DIE!!!!!!"
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